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Who is Stopping You? (Part One)

The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. It’s certain people.

Specifically, antisocial people—people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble. They are trying to stop you.

“When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work.”

“It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject.” -- L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for)

One of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. Most people thought Hitler was a nice guy, but he organized the deaths of millions of people.

Antisocial personalities can be anyone: doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues. You probably know a few antisocial people.

When antisocial people are openly nasty or critical of you, you know who they are. They say, “You are an idiot” or “That idea of yours is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.” They stab you in your chest, not your back. You can deal with them directly.

The worst types of antisocial persons are those who hide their true intentions. They stab you in the back so you can’t catch them. They say, “Everyone thinks your ideas are silly” or “I heard a rumor the police might be investigating you” or “You look so tired; why don’t you take a vacation?”

Antisocials make you sick. For example, you are enjoying your day and getting a lot done. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, you feel a little upset. Your stomach and head hurt.

You review who just talked to you. Mary gave you a report and made a nice comment about the weather. Fred asked to borrow your pen and was very polite. The computer guy needed to look at my computer and said something about my computer infecting the whole network.

You think, “What was the computer guy talking about? Why did he waste so much of my time? And why are the computers always having problems? I’d better watch out for this guy.”

Suddenly, you feel better. You have spotted an antisocial person. Your day is pleasant again.

L. Ron Hubbard identified twelve characteristics of the antisocial person. The first way to spot them is to notice how they speak.

Generalities

“The antisocial personality has the following attributes:

“1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .’ ‘Everybody thinks . . .’ ‘Everyone knows . . .’ and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor.”
-- L. Ron Hubbard

Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We’re all having troubles because of the economy," “People don’t like anyone who’s too successful” or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities.

Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . “ or “All the citizens feel . . . “ or "The employees think . . . ,” you must perk up your ears. You have just heard the beginning of a generality.

Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. “Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!” “No one was late today.” “All the carpenters appreciate the wood you bought.”

However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at your back. “No one believes your little act.” “Everyone thinks the pay is too low.” “No one wears their hair like that any more.”

One reason the news media is such a poor influence on society is because of their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. “America was shocked and saddened . . .” “Sources revealed that . . .” “Critics asked why the President said . . .”

The newspaper reporter would not be as upsetting if he or she was specific. “My daughter asked me why the President said . . .”

Because antisocial people want you and others to fail, they confuse and upset you with generalities.

How to Respond

“When asked, ‘Who is everybody . . .’ it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Example:

You: “Nancy, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?”

Nancy: "Oh, uh, well, you know, everyone I talk to. It’s common knowledge.”

You: "Can you tell me who exactly?”

Nancy: "I don’t know, I can’t remember. I’ll ask around.”

You: “I’m going to assume you made this all up. Don’t say things like that to me again.”

Social Personality

While the antisocials are tearing down the world, the world social personalities are improving it. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Fortunately, most people are social personalities.

Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality. For example, they are specific.

“The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. ‘Joe Jones said . . . ‘ ’The Star Newspaper reported . . . ‘ and gives sources of data where important or possible.

“He may use the generality of ‘they’ or ‘’people’ but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples of social personality statements: “Patty and Joan want raises.” “Everyone’s happy you’re back from vacation.” “Steve loved your speech.”

Even if the social personality is passing bad news, it is not upsetting. For example, “Kelly and Roger have decided to move to Los Angeles to help their son produce documentaries.”

The antisocial thinks bad news is an opportunity to upset you. “It seems like lots of people are leaving us . . . Kelly, Roger and others. Maybe they don’t like how you treat them.”

Recommendation

Every time you hear a generality regarding bad news this week, reject the information. Assume the person is either careless or antisocial. Instead, ask “Who is everybody?” or “Who exactly?”


To read “Who is Stopping You? (Part Two),” go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial2.htm

To read “Who is Stopping You? (Part Three),” go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial3.htm

 

 


TipsForSuccess Introduction    Success at Work    Financial Success    Successful Relationships    Happiness    Challenges    Anxiety    Improving Your Attitude    Making Progress    Handling Difficult People    Creating Wealth    Passion    Popularity    Integrity   Work Speed    Stress    Confidence    Goals    Fear    Personal Power   Professionalism    Sadness and Grief    Jealousy    Communication