Who is Stopping You? (Part
Two)
A Los Angeles Police Department study determined only 2% of the population was
dangerous and harmful to society. Years earlier, L. Ron Hubbard determined the percentage of
antisocials to be 2.5% with another 17.5% of the population influenced so heavily
by antisocials that they begin to act like antisocial personalities.
You could say 20% or less of the people you know are causing 80% or more of your
troubles. One out of five people are not helping you succeed. These are the
people who hope you will fail.
Once you discover which people in your life are antisocial, they have less
influence over you. Because you know they want you to fail, you no longer listen
to them. You also know who your friends are. Luckily, most people are on your
side and hope you will succeed!
Part One covered the first characteristic of the antisocial personality: they
speak in generalities. For example, “Everyone thinks you are too inexperienced,”
“No one likes what you said” or “America is terrified.” Go to
www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial1.htm to read “Who is Stopping You? (Part One).
The second and third characteristics are covered below with more characteristics
in the next two TipsForSuccess articles.
You can tell the difference between an antisocial and social person based on the
topics of conversation they select.
Antisocial Characteristic #2
“2. Such a person deals mainly in bad news, critical or hostile
remarks . . .”
“It is notable that there is no good news or complimentary remark passed on by
such a person.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
The social person is the opposite.
“2. The social personality is eager to relay good news and reluctant to
relay bad.
“He may not even bother to pass along criticism when it doesn’t matter.”
“He is more interested in making another feel liked or wanted than disliked by
others and tends to err toward reassurance rather than toward criticism.” --
L. Ron Hubbard
Examples:
Antisocial: “Did you hear about the guy who blew his brains out last week?”
Social: “Did you hear about the guy who won the lottery last week?”
Antisocial: “So that was your fancy chicken dish? My mother’s chicken is
better.”
Social: “Great chicken. Thanks!”
Antisocial: “Everyone in the office thinks you work too hard which is why you
look so tired.”
Social: “Paul wishes he could work as hard as you. I think you set an excellent
example for all of us.”
Antisocial Characteristic #3
“3. The antisocial personality alters, to worsen, communication when he or
she relays a message or news. Good news is stopped and only bad news, often
embellished*, is passed along.
“Such a person also pretends to pass on ‘bad news’ which is in actual fact
invented.” -- L. Ron Hubbard (*embellish: to add fictitious details to)
Just passing on bad news is not enough for antisocials. They prefer to make it
sound worse. If the truth is not bad enough, they often make up some bad news
for extra punch.
Neighborhood gossipers, politicians and news reporters use antisocial
statements. “Marge seems to have a different man’s car in front of her house
every night.” “Unlike my political opponent, I will not tolerate child
pornography!” “Many questions exist about Pete’s sudden wealth.”
The social person has a different approach.
“3. A social personality passes communication without much alteration and
if deleting anything, tends to delete injurious matters.
“He does not like to hurt people’s feelings.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
Examples of social personality statements: “Marge is finally getting out and
meeting some men. I couldn’t be happier for her.” “If I am elected, I will work
hard to give our children a better education.” “I think Pete is finally getting
ahead because of his wonderful new restaurant.”
Television news and newspapers often worsen the facts.
For example, a few years ago, CBS reported, “HUNDREDS FEARED DEAD IN FLOOD” when
a storm flooded parts of California . . . two people died. In October 2001, CNN
reported, “THE TALIBAN SENDS 300,000 TROOPS TO BORDERS” . . . fewer than 10,000
actually showed up.
An easy way to reduce your stress and feel happier is to stop reading newspapers
and stop watching the news on television. Try it!
Good Messengers and Bad Messengers
Antisocial personalities are horrible messengers. Social personalities try to be
accurate.
For example, the boss tells an antisocial messenger, "Andy, please tell Liza
she’s doing a great job and can leave early.”
Andy says, "Liza, the boss wants you to go home right now. He seemed pretty
unhappy.”
If Andy was a social person, he would say, “Liza, the boss says you’re doing a
great job and you can leave early. Good for you!”
Antisocials not only hope people get upset and fail, they also enjoy war. For
example, perhaps a few antisocials were hard at work in Washington, DC
in 2003. “Everyone knows Iraq has tons of weapons of mass destruction. Iraq was
probably part of the 9/11 attacks. Saddam Hussein spent millions to buy atomic
bombs that can hit the USA!”
Social personalities pass on facts. “Here is an eyewitness report from 1991 that
Iraq had 500 barrels of mustard gas. These two 1999 reports are from Iraqi
officers who say they leaked false reports about atomic weapons in order to
scare Iran. These photos from last week show a pile of missile shells.”
Marriage
Good marriages are supported by social persons. When a marriage goes bad, you
can find one or more antisocials mixed in.
For example, Fred says, “Don’t tell your wife I said this, but she and Pierre
have been getting awfully friendly.”
Fred then says to the wife, “Don’t tell your husband I said this, but his daily
hugs with Cherry are getting pretty intimate.”
Even though there is nothing going on, the husband and wife suddenly suspect a
problem and start fighting.
Antisocials also say things like, “Everyone fools around.” “I wish I was still
single, don’t you?” “Most couples constantly argue.”
Social personalities paint a different picture. “Statistically, most married
people are faithful.” “Married people are healthier and live longer.” “There’s
nothing better than a good marriage!”
Of course, if you are married to an antisocial person, you might feel stressed
by the steady stream of criticisms and bad news. You may even throw a few
negative comments around yourself. Luckily, most people can become more social
if they want to change.
Five Recommendations
1. Notice who around you likes to pass on bad news and criticisms. Observe who
might be making bad news seem even worse.
If you know who is trying to stop you by stabbing you in the back with bad news,
critical remarks and invented bad news, they will have less power over you.
2. Let these people know you do not want their negative comments. If they do not
stop, reduce your contact with them.
3. Notice who likes to pass on good news and compliments. Observe who avoids
negative topics and likes to talk about positive subjects.
If you know who is social and trying to make the world a better place to live,
you will know who you can trust.
4. Let these people know you appreciate them and want to support them.
5. Work on becoming more social yourself. Do not pass on bad news, rumors or
criticisms that no one needs to know. Try to compliment people and pass on good
news.
If you live your life as a social person as much as possible, you and the people
around you have a much better chance of succeeding.
To read “Who is Stopping You? (Part One),”
go to
www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial1.htm
To read “Who is Stopping You? (Part
Three),” go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial3.htm |
