|Building Confidence: What
Should You Be?
Question: What is the best personality or
the best identity for you to assume?
Answer: Anything you want to be! A
cheerful friend, a businesslike executive, a caring listener. Whatever
is best at the time. Different circumstances require different
For example, to be a bossy manager at
work might be appropriate, but you might drive your spouse crazy if the
identity continues at home. To be a rowdy sports fan at a game is great,
but not what you should be when asking for a raise.
The reason people have trouble
determining who or what they should BE is because they don't start with
"Children in the West are
commonly asked `What are you going to BE when you grow up?' It is a
silly question and can drive any child up the wall. Because it's the
wrong question—hits the wrong end of the cycle."
"He is also asked, `What are
you going to DO in life?' That's just as bad. It is quite difficult to
"If we asked children, `What
do you want to PRODUCE in life?' we could probably get a workable
answer. From that he could figure out what he'd have to do to produce
that and from that he could know what he had to BE. Then, with a little
cooperation he would be able to lead a happy and valuable life."
"A lot of people and
businesses fail because they don't do this." — L. Ron
Example: A young man likes to cook and
make people happy. He may decide the product (HAVE) he wants to produce
is: "Properly fed, happy people who pay a lot of money for the
dining experience at my successful restaurant."
Based on this decision, he works out his
career by listing the steps (DO) which include enrolling in a cooking
school, working at several restaurants for the experience, saving money,
and so on. His planning is accurate and efficient. The young man then
works out the best identity for the job (BE). He needs to BE a
successful restaurateur: proud, charming, service-oriented, smart and
To put his plan into action, this young
man starts the cycle with BE and assumes this identity as the
first step. He strolls around BEING a successful restaurateur from
day one. He's proud, charming and service-oriented. He even feels
He can then easily DO the steps needed to
get what he wants to HAVE: a successful restaurant with happy customers.
He accomplishes this much faster and more easily than a person who
cannot BE a successful restaurateur until he owns the restaurant.
If you want success and wealth, BE
wealthy or successful before you get there. It’s fun!
Assume a wealthy identity. Test drive a
big new Mercedes. Stroll through a $10-million building as if you own
it. People will want to be around you. Bankers will try to lend you
money. You'll feel great!
While this exercise focuses on making
money, you can do this with any goal.
1. Take out a blank piece of
paper. At the bottom of the sheet, write down how much money you want to
earn per month, one year from now.
2. Above the dollar amount write
down what you need to produce (HAVE) that someone would pay you that
much money for. What final product must you produce that is worth the
amount of money you want to earn?
For example, a plumber wants to earn
$8,000 per month in profit. He calculates his overhead costs and
determines he needs to produce or HAVE "$20,000 per month in
high-quality plumbing work to happy customers who refer."
A dental receptionist who wants to earn
$3500 per month might determine she needs to produce much more than
"scheduled patients." She talks to the dentist and decides she
needs to produce "a dental practice that doubles in productivity
through my clever scheduling so I can earn $3500 per month."
The partners of a law firm decide they
want their group to bill and collect $500,000 per month.
What do you need to produce to earn the
money you wrote in step 1? Write this down.
3. In the middle of your sheet of
paper, write down what you need to DO to reach that level of
productivity. This is planning at its finest; you start with the final
result and work backwards.
Before you achieved the above product,
what would you do? Before that? Before that? Plan your steps from this
future point in time back to the present.
For example, the plumber needs to DO more
promotional actions, delegate responsibility to his assistants and make
sure every customer is completely satisfied.
The dental receptionist needs to organize
the schedule better, make more reminder calls to patients and keep the
The law firm needs to hire more
associates, attract wealthier clients and win more cases.
4. At the top of the page, write
what you need to BE to accomplish the plan and obtain the final product.
The plumber might need to BE a
responsible manager and not a fun-loving worker. He may decide he needs
to BE a successful business owner.
The dental receptionist needs to BE the
boss of the patients’ and doctor’s time, not just be a receptionist.
She needs to BE a successful manager.
The law firm needs to BE the most
powerful law firm in town. It moves to the biggest building in town,
hires the best decorators money can buy and gives an overwhelming
feeling of strength.
Whatever you write at the top of your
paper is what you need to BE. It's the most effective identity you can
assume. BE THIS PERSON RIGHT NOW.
Now that you are BEING the correct
identity for this goal, DO the action steps. You will then HAVE the
money or goal.
Use this exercise in other areas of life.
For example, to HAVE a successful marriage, what should you DO and BE?
What do you need to DO and BE to HAVE a cheerful family, a successful
business, a happy life?