Do You Give More than You Receive?
Danny Tomas was a successful comedian, actor and producer for five decades. He starred in many shows including “Make Room for Daddy” which ran for 13 years. Actress Marlo Tomas is his daughter.
When he was broke and struggling, he vowed that if his show-business career took off, he would help those in need. So at the peak of his success, he decided to build a hospital that would treat children with life-threatening diseases, while finding new cures. He believed that “no child should die in the dawn of life.”
Danny and his friends built St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis Tennessee. It is the nation’s second largest health-care charity and is supported by over one million volunteers nationwide. Discoveries at St. Jude have changed how doctors treat children with cancer and other catastrophic illnesses. For example, the survival rate for acute lymphoblastic leukemia, the most common type of childhood cancer, has increased from 4% in 1962 to 94% today, thanks to discoveries made at St. Jude.
Danny Tomas said, “There are two types of people in this world: givers and takers. Takers always eat better, but givers always sleep better.”
Does Life Seem Unfair?
For example, you give more gifts and holiday cheer than anyone gives to you. You give great advice, but never get thanked for it. You donate more than your fair share to those who are less fortunate than you.
And that’s a good thing! You’re a giver, not a taker.
“A human being feels able and competent only so long as he is permitted to contribute as much or more than he has contributed to him.” — L. Ron Hubbard
For example, you promise to give five hours of work to Joe. During those hours, you are focused, efficient and professional. You get so involved with the job, you forget to watch the clock and end up working for almost six hours, but still only charge for five. Joe is impressed and you are proud. Your future with Joe feels secure.
As another example, you tell Chris, “You don’t need to work. We’ll just give you money each month.” At first, Chris thinks, “This is a great deal!” But soon, she wonders, “Am I useless? Can’t I make a contribution?” She feels unable and incompetent. If you then get Chris to do some difficult work for the money, she feels happy and secure.
As a final example, you encourage your children to contribute to the family. Your four-year old sweeps the floors each day. Your ten-year-old takes care of the family pets. Your fifteen-year-old washes your car and the windows every other week. Your family is happy as everyone feels able and competent.
“A man can over-contribute and feel secure in an environment. He feels insecure the moment he under-contributes, which is to say, gives less than he receives. If you don’t believe this, recall a time when everyone else brought something to the party but you didn’t. How did you feel? — L. Ron Hubbard
Are You a Giver or a Taker?
10 Signs You Are a Taker
1. You focus on getting money more than anything else.
2. You use unfair pressure to get what you want.
3. As long as someone adds to your bottom line, you support them. If they do not, you ignore them.
4. You search for ways to cheat corporations and governments with exaggerations and tricks.
5. If you hurt someone while taking what you want, you have no regrets.
6. You truly believe everyone else in this world is just after money, and you hope they will fail.
7. You are secretly delighted when people believe your lies and give you what you want.
8. You treat your friends, family or colleagues as pieces in your game, not as your teammates.
9. You can only give or accept help if it increases your pay.
10. You eat excellent food, but have health problems.
10 Signs You Are a Giver
1. You measure your success based on many things, not just your pay.
2. You give recommendations that are best for everyone, not recommendations that are best just for you.
3. As you move up the wealth ladder, you give help to those in need, whenever you can.
4. If someone tries to cheat or hurt you, you get even by succeeding more than ever before.
5. You celebrate the success of others.
6. You do what you do because you love it.
7. You increase your statistics with intelligence, hard work and passion.
8. You give joy to others. You make them happier which then makes you happier.
9. You really sleep well. You feel like smiling most of each day. You feel strong!
10. You feel sorry for Takers. You know you will live a longer and happier life than they will.
Recommendations for Improving Your Mental Health by Giving
Give a bit more to others than they give to you. Contribute excessive time, money or other forms of help to good causes or good people. Do not expect anything in return.
Continue to over-contribute whenever you can. Instead of having a fair exchange with others, arrange for an abundant exchange, with you always giving more than you receive.
You then feel, as a result, more able, more competent and more secure.
Your stress decreases and you sleep better than ever.