How to Create a Happy Marriage
Marriages and sexual partnerships can survive money problems, career disasters, even affairs. But if you refuse to communicate, your relationship is doomed.
For example, Frank and Lila’s marriage is in trouble. They eat together, watch television together and sleep together, but they are both lonely.
It started when Lila said, “I wish we could go to Hawaii again.”
Frank decided Lila actually meant to say, “You don’t make enough money.” He never asked her, but assumed it. He decided it was best to become unemotional and not tell Lila his true feelings.
Lila noticed Frank was more silent at dinnertime than normal. She thought, “He must not like my cooking.” She did not ask, but simply assumed he did not like her cooking. She decided it was better to not bring it up.
Lila was also sure Frank did not like her appearance. Frank convinced himself Lila thought he was a loser. Both had doubts and neither would speak.
Luckily, Frank and Lila decided to improve their communication. While it seemed like the hardest thing in the world to do, Frank forced himself to talk.
“Lila, do you think I’m a loser?”
Lila replied, “Of course not! I think you’re an excellent provider. I just wish you liked my cooking and how I look.”
Frank said, “I love your cooking and your looks!”
Both Frank and Lila were relieved. They set a goal to visit Hawaii. They no longer feel lonely.
Repairing a troubled marriage requires a great deal of communication, but communication is the key.
“When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Any kind of relationship improves with communication: partners, friends, colleagues, co-workers, children, bosses, everyone.
Start with easy subjects. Talk about anything. Keep at it until you and the other person are freely communicating.
Next, start to nibble at the problems. Talk about one issue and listen to the other person’s views. Make your side of the problem honest and clear. Work to understand everything the other person has to say.
Persist with more and more communication until the problems resolve and the relationship is succeeding.
Whenever you have doubts about something, COMMUNICATE! Talk, talk, talk until the problem resolves.
When you feel stress, disagreement or resistance between you and someone near to you, the wrong thing to do is ignore the problem. Instead, start communicating.
When a marriage is bad, there are few things more miserable. But when your marriage is good, there are few things more wonderful.
Communication is the key.