Have you ever hated someone without knowing why?
For example, you hate someone you just met, for no reason. Or you hate someone simply because of their gender, their hair color, their political views or their age. Why?
Perhaps before you hated that type of person, you tried to help someone like him or her.
For example, Jill says, “Can you give me a $3000 loan?”
You say, “No, I won’t give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise.”
Jill says, “Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I’d ask for it.”
You suddenly feel a little hatred for Jill. Her comment is deeply insulting.
“If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped.” — L. Ron Hubbard
You tried to help someone and you failed. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn’t want the kind of help you offered. Maybe the person did not realize you had good intentions, at the time.
It’s a rotten, upsetting feeling to try to help someone . . . and fail.
How to Resolve This Hatred
“Pick a person that you’ve tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I’ll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you’re going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time.” — L. Ron Hubbard from his lecture, “Help“
So instead of ignoring the person or getting angry, talk about the subject of “help.”
Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on. Once you get started, your hatred will dissolve. You will understand the person or people similar to this person.
Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion
1. Do you like getting help?
2. Do you like helping others?
3. How do you feel about me helping you?
4. How do you feel about helping me?
5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn’t?
6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn’t?
7. Do you wish you could help more people?
8. Do you wish more people could help you?
9. In the future, how can I help you?
10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?
“Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Give it a try! You will be delighted and amazed. You may even do some good for this world.