What to Do When You Feel Outraged

Getting angry may be the correct response in a few rare situations. Yet blowing up and overreacting can instantly damage your relationships and your success.

For example, you might feel outraged and say:

2. “I can’t believe you got home late again; I just can’t trust you.”
3. “I hear you changed your mind! After all my hard work. I can’t believe this!”
4. “She never called me back so I guess she is rejecting my offer. I’m never working with her again!”
5. “He always disagrees with me and I’ve had it!”
6. “He called me ‘Sweetie.’ I am SO OFFENDED.”

Jumping to the wrong conclusion and getting outraged can seriously delay your success.

Great Advice for Handling Anger

“Listen and question before you decide you’re outraged.” — L. Ron Hubbard

By listening and questioning, you find the correct problem.

1. “Has anyone seen my pen?”
2. “Why did you get home late?”
3. “Did you change your mind?”
4. “Will you accept my offer?”
5. “Do you disagree with me?”
6. “Did you know calling females ‘sweetie’ can be offensive and degrading?”

By listening and questioning, you learn the truth.

1. “You have my pen? OK, just get it back to me.”
2. “Oops, yes you did tell me you’d be late. Sorry I forgot.”
3. “I’m glad you didn’t change your mind.”
4. “Take all the time you need to think about my offer.”
5. “I’m glad we actually agree on a few of the key points!”
6. “He sincerely apologized; he is kind of old. I guess he was not being sexist after all.”

In most cases, you will not feel outraged after you listen and question. You move on. You keep your relationships intact.


The next time you feel outraged, do not react. Instead, ask a few questions and listen to the answers.

In most cases, you’ll find you reached the wrong conclusion. Even if your anger is justified, you feel calmer and more rational. 

You will be happy you did not react!