A Silent, Powerful People Skill

Introducing a people skill you can use to instantly improve every relationship in your life. It quietly generates cooperation, support and trust.

Most people don’t know it exists.

Those who do use this skill seem luckier than average. People follow them. Doors open for them. Even difficult people soften around them, like ice meeting warm sunlight.

So what is this silent but powerful skill?

The ability to make others feel important.

“People have value and are important. Big or small they are important.” — L. Ron Hubbard

People love and appreciate you when you make them feel important. Customers and clients cooperate. Coworkers and family support you. Friends like being around you.

Everyone wants to feel important.

Some want it desperately. The less money, skill or power they have, the more they need personal importance. If you ignore them or treat them with disrespect, they feel upset or angry. But when you make them feel important, you see their body relax, their eyes brighten or their mood improves.

When you learn to grant importance to others, you gain a quiet power that can change everything.

Three Tips for Using This Silent Skill

First, understand that importance is unlimited. You can give as much as you want without losing any of your own.

Second, don’t try to to be more important than another person. Acting more important than others actually backfires with less respect to you. You end up hurting yourself.

“Asserting one’s own importance is about as acceptable as a dead cat at a wedding.” — L. Ron Hubbard

Third, never ignore anyone. If you pretend they do not exist they feel resentment . . . or worse.

“Ignore people at your peril.” — L. Ron Hubbard

No one is unimportant.

  • A shabby-looking man might be the janitor… or the wealthy business owner.
  • A receptionist can block you or give you priority.
  • A yard worker can quietly kill your roses… or make them thrive.
  • A teenager in a hoodie may be the one who eventually recommends you to 100 people.

10 Self-Importance Bad Habits

Any of these bad habits ruin your personal image and block your path to success.

If you replace them with a new habit, of making people feel important, you boost your success!

1. Ultra Important Person
You walk, talk, drive or enter rooms like you are royalty. You are always frowning like you are thinking very important thoughts.

2. Interrupting Constantly
You cut people off mid-sentence:
“Yeah, yeah, I already know this.” “Let me stop you right there.”

3. Name-Dropping
Trying to sound important by listing powerful people:
“Well, when I was talking to Governor Roberts about this…”

4. Act Too Busy
You act rushed or sigh loudly:
“I don’t have time for this.”

5. Story Topping
Someone shares something meaningful, and you try to top it:
“Ha, that’s funny, but I have a funnier story.” “Wow, you climbed McKinley… but I climbed Everest.”

6. No Manners
You are too important to say “thank you,” “excuse me” or “hello.”

7. Title-Dropping
You remind people of your position, or title:
“I’m actually the assistant regional director, so make sure you do what I say.”

8. Bragging Disguised as Humility aka “Humblebragging”
“I wish people would stop asking for my expert opinion.”

9. Know-it-all
Someone starts to explain something and you say, “Oh, I already know that” or “Hold on, I’ve actually done this for years.”

10. Problem Topping
When someone shares a difficulty, you say, “You think that is bad? Listen to what I went through!” “Sorry to hear about your rash, but I might have a tumor in my brain.”

Three Every-day Examples

1. A waiter treats you poorly because the last five customers treated him like a lowly servant. You say, “Hey, thanks for this awesome meal!”
His face lights up. You just restored his importance.

2. An older woman is blocking the aisle in a busy grocery store. She looks terrified. Most people rush around her and mutter under their breaths. You say to her, “Take your time. You’re fine.”
Her face softens and she stands straighter. You gave back her dignity.

3. A security guard standing in the cold is ignored by everyone. You nod and say, “Stay warm okay?”
He stands straighter and smiles. He feels more valuable.

Three Action Steps

1. Raise your opinion of yourself.

It’s hard to like others if you dislike yourself.

If something about you bothers you, fix it as best you can.

For example, you say: “My desk is a mess. I must be a lousy manager.”
If so, clean it up.

Or maybe you dislike yourself because you are not attractive. “I’m too ugly to succeed.” So improve your personal image until you are attractive.

Improving your self-respect makes it easier to give respect to others.

2. Silently grant importance to everyone.

With practice, you can make people feel wonderful with a single glance or simple gesture. You become a quiet “importance generator.”

  • A quick smile can brighten a homeless person’s day.
  • A grateful nod can make an overworked employee relax and smile.
  • Deciding a competitor is actually an important person.
  • Deliberately looking at everyone, and ignoring no one, creates a happier, safer space for you and all.

This silent skill gives you cooperation, goodwill, friendships, respect, and support wherever you go.

3. Show a high opinion of others through your actions.

Take it to the next level with your physical actions.

  • Help anyone who obviously needs help.
  • Answer all calls, emails, and texts as if everyone is important.
  • Listen and acknowledge what people say to you.
  • Anticipate people’s needs.
  • Use good manners with everyone.

These small actions may feel small to you, but they can feel big to the others.

Think of how you can use this skill with a short 5-question quiz. It’s fast and easy!

The “The Silent, Powerful People Skill” 5-Question Quiz