Everything you want in life requires the support or cooperation of individuals. Your success depends on other people. Objects, the economy and governments do not make you successful.
For example, if you invented a better dog leash, it would not make you wealthy. If it did make you rich, the money would come from the people who bought this dog leash.
Your business does not succeed because you have a beautiful office space, fancy brochures or a brilliant plan. It succeeds because people buy and love your product or service. It also succeeds because the staff members do their work.
Human relations, not things, make or break your future success.
So when people ignore you, what is going on? Why won’t they help you? How can you get their support?
How People Decide to Treat You
“There is an interesting phenomenon* at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One … actually sets an example of how he should be treated. A is mean to B so B is mean to A. A is friendly to B so B is friendly to A.” — L. Ron Hubbard (* phenomenon = an observable fact.)
If you are honest with people, they are honest with you. If you encourage them, they encourage you. If you give them what they need, they give you what you need.
On the other hand, if you are blunt with people, they are blunt with you. If you try to cheat people, they try to cheat you. If you push them down, they push you down.
If you list all the bad things people do to you, you might discover you also do these bad things.
For example, you feel upset when Joe ignores you. So you think it over and realize you ignored Joe’s question last week. So you corner Joe and answer his question. Joe no longer ignores you.
How this Principle Makes You Successful
“When one is lucky enough to get to meet and talk to the men and women who are at the top of their professions, one is struck by an observation often made that they are just about the nicest people you ever met. That is one of the reasons they are at the top: they try, most of them, to treat others well.”
“Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgivingness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity*?
“It might take a while but don’t you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?” — L. Ron Hubbard from The Way to Happiness (* integrity = sticking to one’s principles.)
If people are not giving you the support you need, do not sit and wish they would treat you better. Instead, ask yourself, “How do I like to be treated?”
For example, insurance salesman John makes 150 telephone calls per day to sell insurance. Even though he leaves hundreds of messages, very few people return his calls. He does not make a living this way.
So he asks himself, “If I was a customer, how would I want to be treated?”
He answers himself, “Well, I hate getting sales calls and never return them myself. I would prefer a personal email. I’d want the representative to take interest in me, to care about my real insurance needs and try to save me money. Hey! I’m going to give it a try!”
John finds he enjoys writing personal emails.
“Hi Pat! It was great seeing you at the soccer game yesterday. I thought you would like this brochure about our new flood insurance. I think we have the best prices. Also, let me know if you change your mind about helping us coach the team.”
“Dear Chris, one of your neighbors told me your house insurance might be too high because of the crime stats in your area. If it can be reduced, I’m the one who can do it for you. Let me know if you’d like me to do a review.”
Before he sends each email, he asks himself: “Would I want to be treated this way?”
Two months later, John is earning a great income selling insurance policies.
You can find thousands of examples around you.
How do you like to be treated by strangers?
What’s the best way to give you bad news?
When I need tech support, what works for me?
If you were a teenager, how would you like to be treated?
When traffic gets congested, how do you want other drivers to treat you?
Your answers to questions like these should be your personal policies for success.
How to Improve the Way People Treat You
1. Make a list of everyone who influences you. Everyone you depend on. Everyone who can make you successful. Include your boss or employees, customers, coworkers and colleagues.
2. Write down how you want these people to treat you. For example, you want your boss to support your career. You want your spouse to patiently listen to you. You want your clients to honestly consider all of your recommendations.
3. Work out how to do these things first. For example, start giving more support to your boss. Patiently listen to your spouse. Honestly consider everything your clients say to you.
4. Persist until people are treating you the way you are treating them.
Remember, if you want help on your road to success, help other people succeed first.
Give it a try!